BREAKING: Racist Governor To Resign

The Republican governor of Maine, Paul LePage said Tuesday morning he may resign as pressure from his own party and Democrats builds following several months of incendary comments by LePage.

In an interview with WVOM, LePage said, “I’m looking at all options,” and later added, “If I’ve lost my ability to help Maine people, maybe it’s time to move on.”

Last week, LePage called Democratic Rep. Drew Gattine a “cocksucker” in a profane and highly publicized voicemail. Gattine had criticized LePage’s previous comments—namely that he blamed illegal drugs in Maine on black people. Gattine did not, however, call him a racist. LePage didn’t buy it and left him a voicemail that said: “Mr. Gattine, this is Gov. Paul Richard LePage. I would like to talk to you about your comments about my being a racist, you cocksucker. I want to talk to you. I want you to prove that I’m a racist. I’ve spent my life helping black people and you little son-of-a-bitch, socialist cocksucker. You… I need you to, just friggin. I want you to record this and make it public because I am after you. Thank you.”

In January, LePage said in a radio interview that he wanted to bring back the public execution of drug traffickers by using the guillotine, believing prison time isn’t enough of a deterrent. “What we ought to do is bring the guillotine back,” he said.

This is probably the best idea Paul LePage has had.

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