Kimmel Stitches Trump’s Words Together—AND OFFERS A TRUMPIAN COMMENCEMENT SPEECH!

It’s the time of year that celebrities, politicians, and other public figures don academic gowns, receive honorary degrees, and try to inspire some college students with a commencement speech before they embark on the real world.

Donald Trump is scheduled to speak at graduations for Liberty University and the Coast Guard Academy, but for the colleges he won’t be able to get to in person, Jimmy Kimmel Live put together an all-purpose commencement speech “of bigly importance” from the president of the United States.

The quotes used in the speech come from some of his campaign rallies, but also includes some Trumpian advice that could work for all occasions. Things such as:

  • “Always be around unsuccessful people because everybody will respect you.”
  • “Always have a prenuptial agreement!”
  • “I think it’s really important, if somebody screws you, screw them back in spades.”
  • “Go home and get a job!”
  • “Forget the press. Read the Internet.”
  • [Sounding annoyed] “Do you guys want to be successful or don’t you care?”
  • “The American dream is dead.”

“Ray of sunshine,” Kimmel said.

Watch:

What do you think of the “commencement speech”?

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